I’m 45 now and it’s not sitting easily with me. It’s not that I’m having trouble being a year older, I’m simply feeling an acute annoyance that the same old issues are blighting my life and I want them to stop. Sadly, there is no magic wand and I know that every change will come down to the hard work of making good new habits.
It’s not just about wanting to lose weight. Yes, I could do with losing a few pounds, but I want to address a range of things:
My food and drink choices are not always ones that promote good health
I’m an emotionally reactive eater
I get poor quality sleep and live in a state of sleep deprivation
I never exercise
I suffer with stress and anxiety
I have low-level depression, high blood pressure and the beginnings of arthritis.
My self-esteem is low and I am vicious with myself
I don’t make the most of what I have – nice clothes and haircuts are for other people
I’m disorganized, forgetful and easily distracted
My spiritual life could be classed as ‘lip-service at best’
I am an emotional yo-yo
I have a crippling fear of failure and rarely start something, ‘because I’ll fail at it…’
I feel like I’m drifting along and not making any progress
I have ambitions but no realistic chance of achieving them
I’m building a long list here…
I’m sure there are people who will identify with my list and others who will read it and think ‘get over yourself.’ Each to their own. This is my life and I’d like it to feel that I’m achieving something worthwhile and that I’m making the best of myself and the opportunities that present themselves. I’m not out to change the world, but I do want to change myself. I’m not aiming to be superwoman, I just want to be the best me I can be.
So where am I going to start? I’m going to start with good food, lots of water and working on my sleep. There’s no point trying to work on anything else if I’m tired, malnourished and dehydrated. After that, I’ll start on the rest.